Food diary, library, and male anatomy….

Yes. You read that right.

So today I went for a morning walk to pick up more Bio-K plus and soy/almond/hippie yogurt- while I was wistfully making moony eyes at the Joe Fresh skinny jeans that come in all the colours of the rainbow… I stumbled upon the stationary department. What do people do when they want to lose weight? Oh that’s right ! Food diary!
Today I kept tracked of all my meals and snacks and made sure to write down the calories when I could. I don’t really know the whole shtick about calorie counting- so I guess that shall be my next step.
I didn’t even go into the market to get my favourite cookies- almond macaroons… I spent my afternoon at Emily Carr Library instead doing art homework. And really what appetite I did have was soon demolished and replaced buy a big question mark when the girl ahead of me asked me a question about the photocopier. ( I was standing in line to use it after her) –
So here I am waiting and pick up quickly that she is puzzled. I offer my help and she asks about some contrast question. I asked what she was copying – no answer. I just assumed she didn’t hear me, so I stepped back and waited my turn, but while doing so- she lifted the photo copy lid and I can’t help but glance at the piece of paper.
Like a tea party, or a country picnic- these medium sized penises (testicles included) pranced all about the page. I could feel my right eyebrow lift as my mind tried ever so hard to process what I had just seen.
Had it been in Highschool and it was a guy- I would of blamed it on immaturity and curiosity- but this was at Emily Carr university of art and design, in the library, and this was a young woman.
Sure- women can be curious too- but curious enough to be making photocopies of your penis doodles?
Was this a homework assignment ?
What spurred her mind to bring her to spend time and ten cents a sheet at the photocopier to do… Well a study of male anatomy?
She seemed oblivious to my presence – lifting her drawing up to the light- to examine her noodle doodles- focusing in on the head of the specimens and commenting about lack of contrast.
Trying to look anywhere but at the penis poster I settle my eyes back on the photocopier.
That’s when she pulled out her other drawing- smaller, multiplied penis doodles – my mind immediately tried once again to justify this fascinating woman and her penis doodles. My first thought was – Cool, she must of used photoshop! – then I again refocused my eyes on what the objects really were…
Then I began comparing the objects and the placement with things I see everyday. I thought to myself- ” why they look like raindrops!”
Each time my mind mentally smacked itself – reminding myself that now when ever I see or experience these things that I am comparing this family jewels portrait too – I will have penis on the brain.
Well that’s just- fucked up to hell and back isn’t it? So now I have to write about it!
I have never written a blog on penises before, but I just can’t not write about what I experienced.
It’s just too awesomely strange. It’s a must share adventure.
My mind hopped back and forth trying to find a reason for her illustrations of man’s other brain… It first went to ” that’d make interesting end pages in a book”
I shook my head…. Sally what the hell are you thinking.
I stepped back, and leaned casually against the opposite wall trying to convince my mouth that now is not the time to twist into a “I just saw something ridiculously funny and I don’t know what to think of it smile”
– homework?
– prank?
– sex maniac?
Maybe she’s just special.
Everybody is special in there own way I guess. And who am I to judge?
I wouldn’t of minded if she gave me a copy of her noodle doodles- I would put it up on my wall, maybe put it on the fridge, you never know, endless possibilities! because you know what? Life’s too short to be tight assed with no sense of humour. And she has some big balls (or many multiple small sets of them to be correct) to create those doodles.
Maybe once I start attending art school full time my lack of sleep will push my artistic gears in my head into dick-ville…
So thank you random girl with the noodle doodles for giving me a smile today. And I hope you enjoy those drawings and make something super awesome with those uh, lovely realistic renditions of your take on man.

She probably has a very conceptual and creative and maybe even political symbolism to pair with the little dudes- but frankly- I was too shy, or maybe still a bit shocked, to ask.

-ONE THING I LOVE ABOUT MYSELF TODAY IS: my ability to find humour in even the most strangest things.

Oh and my invention of “noodle doodle” 😉

Goodnight lovelies! Xx


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