Here I am. I actually did it;
I have moved out of my sleepy little village and have been thrust into a whole new and scary world.
Its mind boggling really, the amount of strangers you see in one day here. I was so used to bumping into friends on just a trip to the post office where now I can sit on the skytrain and be utterly surrounded, but still feel completely alone.
Its a beautiful feeling really, gone are the anxieties of seeing ex boyfriends, nasty people, or just people that you generally avoid because well… You damn well want to.
But then again those are replaced by drug addicts, men with wandering eyes, or drunk people who have wet themselves and decide to sit beside you.
Did I mention the last bus I was on smelled like farts and bananas?
It is an amazing feeling when you have accomplished a dream, it seems unreal. You worry one day you will wake up and still be in your bedroom back in your hometown. But I actually did it, and how inspired and happy i felt when I went for a walk yesterday. That feeling of confidence and power. Not the cocky average teenager stereotype of “invincibility” but more like a feeling of wholeness and pure satisfaction.
I am still nervous about living in a city, it is a whole different way of life. But I cant wait to embrace and live that way of life, to mix it with my Fort St. James ways (if that is possible) and to overcome the fear and be able to reassure myself that yes… I can do this.
I am in search of a job, a dentist, a hairdresser, a doctor, a counsellor, a salon, and something for my blisters on my feet. Gone are the days when there is very little to choose from. Now I have to get out and embrace my inner Nancy Drew and investigate my best options.
North Vancouver is such a beautiful place. Thank god I live beside a green belt (trees and forest creatures, and a river). If i had chosen a cement box to live in I might have gone completely mad. The people are friendly here, at least the majority of the ones I have encountered. And only a few have smelt like they are in dire need of a shower. I love the cultures and the different styles here. You can be yourself and you wont be judged for it. It is accepted. Something I have longed for for many years.
I still have lots to learn about this new life in the city, and I am excited for every lesson life decides to throw at me.
Except the skunk that lives in the children’s park down the road that I have to walk by at night… Id rather not deal with that life lesson because frankly I don’t like tomato juice.